Soon I will figure out this website and maybe blogs! For now, I am adding sections…   (02.24.26 edit: I finally  organized this and got rid of my sections :D)                     Guilt…. Oh boy… Guilt……. Is that the biggest illusion of them all?
Guilt by beliefs, guilt by traditions, guilt by family, guilt by colleagues, guilt by friends…the list goes on of course.
Am I being too selfish? Am I being too cold? Too distant? Too lazy? Too outspoken? Too much?
I will be lying if I said I live guilt free now, but the guilt that was consuming before my awakened was unbearable. The thing about guilt is that it leads to many unhealthy habits, attachments, and emotions. The chatter inside my head was almost indescribable. I still remember when I first started meditating. I saw myself walk through the middle of an empty dark room to flip a switch and suddenly what felt like an auditorium filled with different conversations JUST stopped…. Eerie silence…
Sometimes at the park I still stop to check my mind and be aware that the chatter is gone because trust me, it is never gone 100%. Not in this world. Not in a world with people always trying to test your boundaries, always trying to get a reaction from you.
Healing is never really finished, but there is so much beauty in the journey when there is a connection with the universe. I do not know the answers to many things, all I know is the experiences that happened to me. Through the chaos, through surrender, through faith.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             🌹11.06.25 🌹